Cheese – Stromae

Slowly but surely I am getting back in my flow again, I even found joy again listening to my records. I had been neglecting them for a few months now after I got seriously ill.

Looking at my Discogs account I have 110 records in my collection, which is compared to other people, a very small collection ;). But I’m still damned proud of this collection.

Today I felt listening to Stromae, a Belgian musician, rapper, singer and songwriter. He quickly rose to popularity after releasing ‘Alors on danse’, released two albums, preformed all over the world and then dissapeared from the music scene.
Later on I read he was suffering from anxiety and chose to avoid public appearances and I get this. Not long ago I had a panic attack and the aftermath gave me days of anxiousness. An experience I’d rather live without. It might be the current state of affairs that added to my anxiety for it to act out. But I’ve been reading good things about Paul (Stromae), that he is settling for some projects and even if he doesn’t come back to music we will still have what he had produced before.

Cheese – Stromae

I never got Cheese at release but a few years later. I was a CD person until I bought my first record player in 2014/2015. And I actually recieved Cheese as a birthday gift after I ran out of ideas and my father suggested this as a gift. He was actually a big Stromae fan and would tell me with much enthusiasm how he interprets his songs. Yea, so I tend to play Stromae’s music more when I am missing my father. He used to tell me to keep my chin up and not let people drag me down.

My fav songs of the album are Rail de musique, Summertime and House’llelujah. I have to agree with what critic Molloy Woodcraft said: “He combines 90s electro synths and beats with a laidback delivery to the mesmeric effect” His music is very laid back, normally I cannot listen to electronic or house music when I am in a stressed mood but Stromae just gives of the mellow vibes of house.
With House’llelujah I imagine a priest giving a sermon at a house party. Blessed be the Church of EDM lol.

BJD Bhiner, a Taobao proxy

For my birthday I decided I wanted a new Dollfie Dream girl. Initially I had planned to get one during a trip to Japan later this year, but with Covid-19 going around I doubt we will be able to travel. Dollfie Dream are ball-jointed dolls made by Volks and they are iconic for their anime/manga look. I own one already, she is a 1/3 scale girl but I really wanted a MDD which is a smaller scale girl (1/4 size). Because I want to avoid the hassle with customs, I normally try to buy through European dealers and for Volks doll that’s a bit hard. I only know of two official dealers here in Europe which are Sakura Dreams and Papettes Store.

Just received notification that my girl is in the process of being shipped, but I’ll write about her when she gets here.

In my doll collection I do not have a lot of 1/4 scale dolls (they are around 45cm and called MSD), I have either SD (60cm) or YOSD (30cm). The MSD that I have is a slim version which means that her clothes are more mature and don’t really fit the bulkier shaped MSD dolls. So I need more shoes and clothes for my girl that’s on the way. I had already bought an outfit from Volks so she won’t be nude when she gets here. But she still needs more.

Etsy is my normal go to for doll apparel but I really wanted to try ordering from somewhere different. I’ve been eyeing Taobao for a while but ordering is difficult as some sellers don’t ship abroad and everything is in Chinese. Taobao is like an online marketplace, where sellers offer their handmade products. There is also a lot of knock-off products on there so you have to be a bit careful with what you buy. Orchid Dolls‘ review on BJD Bhiner gave me a proxy service I could try out.

Bhiner is one of the many proxy services that help you make purchases from Taobao. They communicate with the sellers and collect your order in their warehouse before shipping it overseas. For their services they will charge you a fee. What differs them from the other proxies, is that they have a website that collects a lot of BJD related sales on one page but you can also add links from other Taobao sellers if you find something off-site that you want to buy through them.

The sale pages look a lot at what you find on Aliexpress and ordering almost works the same way. I think Taobao is owned by the same owner as Aliexpress. Only difference is that you can quote the items that you have in your cart, Bhiner verifies with the seller if the item is in stock and confirm this with you. It’s your own responsibility to not wait to long with your purchase or else it could be gone.

Payment is always upfront as they have to pay the sellers and the shipping costs to the warehouse. When the items are received by Bhiner, you will get sent photo proof that the items have arrived and get the second quote for shipping from China to the Netherlands. I was amused to see that from mainland China you can have your parcel shipped by train. How cool is that!

I ordered 5 items from Bhiner. 1 wig, 2 pairs of shoes, a graduation hakama for my DD girl and a Neko hat. The hat is a custom order, which means it can’t be refunded. I had more in the cart but the order was already at $99 so I called it quits. I find it easier to spend money on clothes and shoes for my dolls than on clothes on myself ^^;;.

Bhiner order
Bhiner order

So on an order of $99 the agent fee is $6.67, which is very low in my opinion. I had to pay around $14,90 in domestic shipping to the warehouse and now I wait until it arrives there. I have no idea how long it will take, one item in my order will take around 5-10 days before it ships.

I’ll write again when it arrives at my house.

Bunaken, my Animal Crossing New Horizons island

When the first trailer came out on Nintendo Direct I was excited. A new Animal Crossing was going to be released in 2020. New Leaf came out in 2012 and has been a long wait until the next installment of the series. A few new features were added to the game (terraforming and crafting) and of course a graphics update.

I had pre-ordered the exclusive Animal Crossing Switch edition and my boyfriend gave me a physical copy of the game. So when the game was released worldwide, I was able to play it straight away. Days prior to the release I was thinking about an island name and character name. I chose to stick with my Indonesian roots and named my character Melati (white jasmine, one of the national flowers of Indonesia) and the island Bunaken (an island located at the northern tip of Sulawesi).

You start your island adventure with two more residents, mine being Tammy (a bear) and Sly (an alligator). The goal of the game is exploring the island, building up the collections of bugs, fish, fossils and art of the museum, inviting more villagers and molding it to your liking. You can visit your friends online and exchange gifts,recipes and even villagers with each other.

There are several challenges in the game like the Happy Home Academy. Every Sunday your interior decoration skills are rated by the academy and you strive to achieve a higher rank. I’m currently on rank B with 79.993 points. There are furniture styles you can only buy from the store or craft your own furniture to achieve a higher rating. I think my Japanese themed room and onsen are almost done. The kitchen is much harder to complete as I am not finding the correct recipes. I’m still missing a cutting board so I can’t finish the ironworks sink to match my ironworks cabinets. πŸ˜‰

Kotetsu keeping me warm
Indoor onsen

Another cool thing about the game is dressing up. Mable sells different outfits every day and outfits can be gifted by villagers and found by popping balloons. Every day I pick a different outfit.

Casual Smart

I was thinking of streaming this game but there are more funnier and creative streamers out there. But I am going to post more about my island as it grows and goes through the seasons.

Living without dairy.

Since last October I’ve been ill, which resulted in my stomach being more sensitive than normal and it never restored to it’s old self again. I felt sharp pains in my stomach and it bubbled and popped like old chemical factory, leaving me very bloated. At first I thought it was because I drank a lot of carbonated drinks but when I cut back on those, I never felt the difference. When I ate a cottage cheese cake my symptoms became worse and had a massive bout of the D. Others whom had eaten the same cake didn’t have any issues so it wasn’t food poisoning.

I have a few relatives who are lactose intolerant so I decided to cut back on any dairy products and my stomach settled down again. But if you look at any product made, a lot of them contain traces of dairy. Soups, sauces, cookies, cakes, drinks, cheese etc. So I have been looking for alternatives to replace dairy. I’m not a fan of soy milk, I drank some in Japan which is completely different than the brand you find here. I just can’t consume it without using a ton of sugar, which is also bad. Besides soy production isn’t always traceable to reputable farms, same as with palm oil.

Luckily our vegan friends have made it so that more plant-bases products came on the market, which made the choice for me a bit broader. I turned to oats and coconut based products. Oatly shows their carbon print and it looks promising, Alpro and Albert Heijn has expanded their product range massively on plant-based yogurts which fixes my cereal problem. I drink a lot of chai lattes and the barista range of Oatly & Alpro froth just as much as whole milk and leave me without the bloated feeling.

It’s been a week since I switched to mostly dairy free products and I feel much better already. I might have even found a vegan mozzarella that I like. Making my own sauces and soups is a pain but better for my diet anyway. The rest of the family also benefits of the freshly made stuff.

I am really happy to see more plant-based products popping up. Alpro has a great ice cream range, Ola already made a vegan Magnum (please make a vegan Solero) and Ben & Jerry’s joined the club. I’m just a little bit envious of people living in the Japan, they have plant-based patisserie. The lactose free cakes just don’t cut it here. That’s the only thing I will need to miss for now, New York Cheesecake and Bossche bollen. But there is some vegan cheesecake recipes out there, just need to make my own.

All and all I’m a much happier person now with my stomach in balance.

Japan 2020

I’ve been to Japan in 2006, but due to circumstances I didn’t have a nice time there (you can’t get a refund over a relationship’s break up). So, it has been my dream to go back there again and do it the proper way this time.


The plan for now stands: a few days in Tokyo, travel to Osaka with the shinkansen (bullet train) and then spend the last leg of the trip in Tokyo again. From Osaka we will do day trips to Hiroshima and Kyoto.

Hiroshima is a must for me and my boyfriend as we want to visit the Hiroshima Peace Memorial Park. I am a great admirer of Tsutomu Yamaguchi, the man who survived both atomic bombs, and the work he has done to advocate for the abolition of nuclear weapons.

There is going to be a lot of firsts for me this trip. First time on the shinkansen, first time to Osaka, Hiroshima and Kyoto. The last trip I spent two weeks in Tokyo, then I missed a lot of stuff because the place is huge. That’s why we’ve made a list of what we’d really want to see this time . Hopefully we won’t overload ourselves by trying to fit everything in those two weeks.

The countdown has started and I can’t wait for it to be the day that we depart for our Japanese adventure.

AliExpress – Dollfie Dream clothes 1

It is always hit and miss with AliExpress when purchasing stuff for dolls. Dolls I will never buy on Ali, as most of them are recasts.
Recasts happen when somenos purchases a doll from a sculptor and then copies it for anyone who wants to have it cheaply, selling it for a much lower price. Usually the quality is inferior and.. well.. the design is stolen. So no dolls bought on Ali for me.

For other stuff like doll clothes and shoes, you’ll sometimes find good quality on there. Lately I’ve noticed people reselling stuff from Ali on Etsy for a higher price. Heck, I even saw people resell a toilet bag bought on Ali for €2 for €9,95 on It’s not against the law but it is annoying, especially when you find out the quality sucks afterwards. So with doll clothes I am a bit cautious when buying for the first time from a new seller I discovered on Ali. Losing €10 on a skirt for a doll that looks terrible isn’t a complete waste of money.

It is quite hard to find fitting clothes for my Smart Doll and Dollfie Dream as they have anime features, extremely long legs, tiny waists and sometimes huge breasts. I try to keep the chest size small or medium, as I really don’t like the big ones, unless I can cover it up with clothing. My normal SD clothing doesn’t really fit my anime style dolls as they are too wide and sometimes too short. So slowly I started building up my Smart Doll and DD clothing collection. First try out was with WAW Dollhouse and from them I bought an inexpensive skirt that costed me €10,01 in total including shipping.

Skirt WAW Dollhouse

I am surprised by the quality of this skirt. The fabric feel sturdy to the touch and the finish in brown stitching is done neatly. It has two functional pockets and the final finish was done with a overlock machine. For this type of quality I would have gladly paid more for this skirt. For the record, I have spent over $100 on a single outfit for dolls.

Overlock finish
Overlock finish
Suits my DD nicely
Suits my DD nicely

The waist is a bit wide, but I cover it over with t-shirts or sweaters. The store had two versions: the white with blue stripes that I bought and a darker denim. The darker one goes on my next to-buy-list along with a few other items now that I tested the seller. All and all I am very happy with my purchase and will definitely shop there again.

Jojo Rabbit

The movie was released in 2019 in other parts of the world but we had to wait until 2020 for a Dutch release. Luckily for me not a lot of spoilers on Twitter for this movie compared to The Rise of the Skywalker, looking at you fanboys. I was hooked when I saw the trailer, being a fan of Taika Waititi’s work since the release of ‘What We do In the Shadows’. The best way to treat Hitler’s legacy is to put it to shits with a dose of satire.

The movie follows Jojo, a boy who joins the Hitler Jugend in order to become a man and who often has conversations with his imaginary friend: Hitler. Mind you, he is 10 years old so they way Hitler interacts with him is portrayed kind of childish.
His initiation with the Hitler Jugend is during a camp led by Captain Klenzendorf, a washed up officer who was removed from the front because he has only one good eye left. The older members of the Hitler Jugend see that Jojo is a bit cowardish during the training exercises and force him to kill a rabbit with his bare hands. When Jojo fails to do this he is nicknamed Jojo Rabbit, the cowardly boy. In a last act of desperation to show everyone he is brave, Jojo steals a hand grenade of the captain during a training exersice and throws it with all his might. Sadly the grenade bounces off a tree and lands right next to him, sending Jojo to the hospital.

After rehabilitation Jojo is left in the care with Captain Klenzendorf to do menial jobs to support the Reich by collecting metal, posting draft letters and distributing posters to keep morale up for the citizens. His mother doesn’t want Jojo to be inspired by the nazi’s and keeps her hopes up for the end of the war, with the Germans losing. One day Jojo comes home before his mother and hears a noise upstairs. Hidden behind the walls he finds a Jewish girl, who has been allowed to life there by his mother. Torn between his loyality to the Reich and his love for his mother, Jojo is confronted with his image of the world and the choices he has to make.

While the movie is portrayed as a satire, the harsh reality of the ruthlessness of the nazi’s was also shown, with the execution of traitors of the Party. Jojo keeps thinking he is a nazi, while actually he is just a boy whose head been filled with propaganda.

After my boyfriend pointed it out, I have to admit he is right about this, all the funny bits of the movie were all in the trailer which was a bit of a shame. But a real shout out to Scarlett Johansson and Sam Rockwell’s characters. Scarlett Jo showed the real shine I have been missing since ‘Lost in Translation’. She really portrayed the loving mother and kept her son in the dark of the dangerous work she did.
Sam Rockwell as Captain Klezendorff was a very surprising roll, he already knew the war was ending in a loss and struggling with his own feelings as a gay person. Just keeping up appearances and playing an important role saving Jojo’s life.

Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken! – Ep.1 The Greatest World!

After being on anime hiatus for a couple of years, I am slowly getting back in to the flow of watching it again. I got myself a Crunchyroll subscription and started binge watching series again. And sometimes you find something new like Keep Your hands Off Eizouken which was released on the 5th of January. So that’s fresh off the boat.

In 2016 the manga was released by Sumito Ōwara and finally came to life as an anime in 2020. A live-action adaption will be released in the third quarter of 2020 in Japan. The story follows three high school girls as they pursue their dream to create their own anime.

One of the main girls of the series is Midori Asakusa who has been hooked on anime since a very young age and is intrigued with how it’s made. Upon entering high school her love for anime has turned into an obsession in creating concept art and turning her school into a stage for her anime. She is hesitant to join the school’s anime club as she is bad with dealing with crowds, but her friend Sayaka Kanamori convinces her to go to the screening.

At the screening they encounter a girl who is being chased by Men In Black. She takes Asakusa’s hat as a disguise, but her pursuers see through it and give chase. Kanamori recognises the girl as the famous model Tsubame Mizusaki and the two girls see it as their duty to save the damsel in distress.
Mizusaki is eventually cornered by one of the Men In Black, men who have been hired by her parents to keep her from joining the anime club. Asakusa uses the stage trap door to detain the MIB and the three girls make their escape.

Mizusaki and Asakusa find out that they share the same passion of creating an anime, with Mizusaki designing the characters and Asakusa giving them a background. Kanamori is interested as she smells the money they can make of it. Together they will create their adventure.

I was scrolling through the new releases on Crunchyroll when this anime caught my eye. The opening theme has a catchy weird tune that I like and the style of drawing is refreshing. I completely get Asakusa & Mizusaki’s way of fan-girling over anime and both characters are very passionate about their dreams. Always good to follow your dreams. And then you have Kanamori in contrast, she is totally not interested in the visual concept of anime, only in the monetary value of it. She’s almost like a producer that sees the monatary value of a good serialisation.
An interesting premise was build for the first episode and I have to admit I am hooked for more. Sadly that means I have to wait another week for a new release πŸ˜‰

Psychosomatic Illness

Limbic System

It was in September of this year that my body showed signs of illness. My emotions had been stretched thin for a very long time already, about to snap. But now my body was failing me. I woke up in the middle of the night by tremors in my legs, adding insomnia to the list. During the day I felt twitches in my face and body and worst of all my muscle strength deteriorated. Worst thing I could do was google the symptoms and that was exactly what I did. The results made me panic and resulted in even more sleepless nights. It could be Alzheimer’s, ALS, cancer, MS or any other neurological illness Doctor Google threw in my face. Great, now what? Time to see my GP.

I had to take several blood tests and stool samples to see if something was wrong physically. And because my anxiety levels went through the roof, I was referred to a specialist to help me cope with that. Waiting for the results of the tests was agonizing. When the results came in, the verdict was: your body is not sick due to a physical illness, you only have a shortage of vitamin D. But why am I feeling this weak, experiencing these pains and tremors?
My GP decided to refer me to a psychosomatic physiotherapist instead. I did discuss it with the other specialist and he agreed that doing both therapies would be too much for me and wished me luck with the physiotherapy.

The first session was an eye-opener for me. A psychosomatic illness originates from emotional stress and manifests in the body as physical pain and other symptoms. Depression can contribute to psychosomatic illness, especially when the body’s immune system has been weakened by severe and/or chronic stress. And let’s be honest, my life has been a roller coaster of emotions since 2016 when I came back from Belfast due to a family emergency. No steady job, money worries, my inferiority complex peaking, unsavory people sucking up my energy. But why did it come out now? I finally had a steady job that I enjoy, a relationship that is build on trust and a roof over my head. My brain was just overloaded and oversensitive and my body was giving me the signals that it had enough and I had to take care of myself.

My therapist gave several breathing exercises to relax and taught me how to breathe the correct way. My breaths were to high in my chest, making me use muscles that I’d normally don’t need to do the job, kind of like hyperventilating 24/7. No wonder I was worn out. Also gave writing exercises to change my way of thinking, my self-flagellation wasn’t helping my stress levels at all. It was hard to look at myself and try to see the parts that are worth it. During my depression I embraced the bad stuff and never looked at the good again.

Now we are a few months in the therapy and bit by bit I am feeling better. Taking extra vitamin D helps me build up strength again, otherwise I would have to move to a sunnier country to fix that issue. But confronting my fears and frustrations has been the right step towards healing. The tremors became less, became insignificant, something that I stopped fearing. The pain is bearable, not as sharp as before. I’m learning to say what I am thinking, no longer keeping my mouth shut out of fear of what people will think of me. I think 2020 will be another good year for me.

The Mandalorian – season 1

The Mandalorian
The Mandalorian

I have to admit that I initially took out a Disney+ subscription solely for the Mandalorian, but the channel started to grow on me as I could see the movies again I have forgotten about.

This series was inspired by the canon character Boba Fett and his background as a Mandalorian. The term Mandalorian isn’t mentioned in the main movies but it did spin off in the franchise to huge popularity. Which ultimately led to the making of the series developed by Jon Favreau, the guy some of you know as Happy Hogan in the Marvel franchise. Each episode was directed by a different director like Bryce Dallas Howard, Deborah Chow and Taika Waititi. The first season has eight episodes.

We are introduced to the Mandalorian who earns his keep as a bounty hunter bringing in targets for the Guild. His latest target is a mark which has been active for 50 years and many bounty hunters have perished trying to acquire it. The client is an Imperial in hiding who really wants this asset in his grasp. After dispatching the heavily armed guards of the hiding place of the mark, Mando is confronted by the The Child. This Child is called baby Yoda by many online, because he shares the same race as Yoda.

Mando struggles to deliver the Child to his client, who clearly want to vivisect the kid. Because of this he busts him out with guns blazing aided by his fellow Mandalorians whom have been in hiding for a long time. During his travels fleeing from the Guild and Imps (Imperials) Mando meets people who either help him or try to take the Child to the Guild as per contract. In the end he knows he can’t keep running until he eliminates the ones who keep hunting him across the galaxy. The 7th and 8th episode show us the lengths the Imps want to go to acquire this child. Mando ends up as a clan of Two and he either has to find the Child’s family or train him when he comes of age. This Is The Way.

When I am really honest, I am not a big fan of Boba Fett. I came to love Star Wars because of Darth Vader and the droids. But the announcement of the series had me stoked, because I do love a good background story.

When watching it I got the space western feeling, with Mando being the lone gunslinger torn between loyalty and doing the right thing. I mean who would honestly let those Imp meanies hurt the little green cutie. Pedro Pascal is a great fit with his deep voice for Mando, giving him a lot of character which is quite difficult in this role as we don’t see his face until the last episode of the season. So he almost voice-acting the whole series. Bringing in Gina Carano as a Rebel Shock Trooper was a great addition to the cast. She adds a strong female character as balance to Mando’s and overall testosterone filled action. Another good female role is the Mandalorians Armorer, doesn’t have much screen time but fill an important role as the keeper of the Mandalorians Creed.
IG-11 was an unexpected surprise for me as a humorous sidekick voiced by Taika Waititi. The droid provides an interesting arc for Mando, who distrusts droids, but ends up respecting and trusting the droid for what they have been through.

The planets seen in the series give off a desolate, remote feeling. As if the people were living out their lives at the edge of the galaxy. The atmosphere is gritty, with music giving us this westerny feeling. Just like the westerns which take place outside the large cities in the rural communities, these are the rural planets of the galaxy. Hope always seems far away in these places, our gunslinger is bringing hope and a little bit of change where otherwise would have been none. Because of this he is collecting like minded beings forming a gang which accumulates in larger changes as the season progresses.

I have to wait until Fall 2020 for the second season of this cool new story inspired by Star Wars. It seems far away but it will be fall before you know it.

FFXIV: Sia Forerunner

As some of you know I have been playing the online MMORPG Final Fantasy XIV for a few years now. My boyfriend and I play casual together but starting new jobs on existing characters tends to be quite problematic, you keep on running out of space hoarding gear. Especially when you want good gear for your character.

With the start of the latest expansion, Shadowbringers, I’d hope to be able to start my ALT-character on the same server as my main one but there were server restrictions during the launch. So I started a new on the Lich server as a Viera Paladin.

Viera is one of the new races that came out with the expansion and I didn’t want to change the race of my main character (cat-gurl for life).


Didn’t expect that I would have this much fun starting all over with the story. A Real Reborn was a tad bit too long but I blew through Heavensward and am currently clearing Stormblood before I can start with Shadowbringers.
I had the plan to blog about it sooner but I really got sucked into the game again. ^^;;

Anyways, meet Sia Forerunner, my pretty Paladin.


Paladin is way much more fun for me to play instead of a healer. I’ve been losing patience as a healer so I needed a long break from it. It would be a waste if the game is no longer fun for me.

4K battle
4K Coeurl-asskicking

I try to play less in the living room TV as it keeps my family from using it. But I do miss the 4K screen that works so well with my PS4 PRO. Better save up for my own 4K TV.

In little over a month I managed to get my girl up to level 68 Paladin and leveling Mining and Blacksmith/Armorer on the side while I wait for groups. The ability to visit other Worlds means I get to still play together with my boyfriend on Odin. But starting the story from the start has made me fall in love with this game once again.

For short videos you can check out my twitter feed @clogsnsneakers but I am looking into publishing longer vids on YouTube.

Looking cool

Tong Tong Fair 2019

Last Wednesday we went to the Tong Tong Fair in The Hague. When I was younger we did go often and after my father’s passing I decided I needed to go again once more.

My mother is from Indonesia and while I’ve never been there before my heart does long to the country. This fueled by the stories of her and other family members. But I know this is a romantic view that I have of Indonesia as my family left the country when they were very young and a lot has changed there. I do hope one day I can go visit.

The Tong Tong Fair gives you the chance to reconnect to your Indonesia heritage. You can buy Indonesian products, enjoy Indonesian food and listen to Indo music.
I do need to highlight the difference between Indo’s (I am one) and Indonesians. Indo’s have Dutch heritage in their family line. These are people who moved to Indonesia and started their life there during the colonisation. Indonesians are true locals so to speak.

The smell of the spices brought me back to the stories I’ve heard as a child. I could almost imagine myself walking along the rice fields. It is strange that you have a longing to a place you have never been before. But it is a longing that is fueled by my family’s history. It is sad to say that my grandmother is no longer with us, so I am unable to write down her stories. But I will sit down with my mother and write hers.

In the past the fair was bigger, with more stands telling the story of Dutch East Indies (the old colony) and the current Indonesia. But with the population who’ve migrated from Indonesia getting older, their stories are becoming lost in time. I’m a second generation, because my mother was born in Indonesia but a lot of people are third or fourth generation. Our ties with the past dwindling with each generation. People sometimes ask me why I find my heritage important. It’s because it made me, there are customs which are met with ridicule that I have from my Indo side. But I always say I have the best of two cultures, a thing that makes me able to understand how other second generations feel living in a country that sometimes not accepts them as their own even if you were born here.

It’s not been easy, living with an identity that pulls two directions. Not feeling your completely part of a culture because you are never truly Dutch or Indonesian. My skin colour gives me away for not being white but I am too tall to be Indonesian. People often piss me off by saying you don’t look Indonesian, holding on to the stereotypes portrayed in movies and books. But if they look at how diverse the Indonesian people are, people from Sumatra don’t look the same like the people from Maluku.
I am what I am.

One of the joys going to any Indonesian fair in the Netherlands is the difference in cooking you get to try. This year we got to try delicious treats from Surabaya, capital of the province of East Java. I enjoyed Soto Ayam with Longtong (Indonesian chicken soup with sticky rice), my mother had the same but with regular rice and my boyfriend had Sate Kambing with Longtong (skewers with goat meat covered in sweet marinade). The Soto Ayam is different then the one my mother makes, but just as good. Indonesian food is soothing for the soul.

While I was a bit sad that it was a lot smaller this year, I did enjoy myself. I’ll keep going back until I am able to set foot in Indonesia myself.

Indonesian garden
Indonesian garden
Soto Ayam
Soto Ayam
Sate Kambing
Sate Kambing
Kopi Luwak
Kopi Luwak
Exotic Fruits
Exotic Fruits

Record Store Day 2019

It been a few weeks since Record Store Day took place, an event which I have been looking forward to for ages. But one part left a bitter impression on me, hence why I took a while longer to write this blog.

For RSD it is always good to be there before the store opens. Some releases have a limited print run and if it is of a popular band, you might have to compete to nab it first. Promised to meet up with a friend and arrived just in time to see the doors being opened. There was a line before the store, but once inside everybody just pressed on, swarming the releases. I had been to the same store the year before but now it seemed more chaotic. And maybe it was just my anxiety acting up again. I don’t do well in crowds.

Sadly the record I really wanted, Orbital limited print 1500 worldwide, was nabbed before my nose. Fair play to the guy beating me to it. Still I didn’t leave the store empty handed. The 20th anniversary record of Right Here Right Now by Fatboy Slim was a welcome addition to my collection. I ended up purchasing 10 records that day. A big haul compared to the year before. I was even lucky to find the 2016 RSD release of Hooverphonic that I missed.

The weather was nice, we hung out at the bookshop before we had one of the greatest lunches I had for a while. Something different than ramen. πŸ˜‰
I’ve been not feeling that fantastic lately, which is why I was happy that the day was fun for me. Great company helps too.

The bitter part didn’t start until the day after RSD. I’ve always detested scalpers. People who buy limited releases and sell them at a higher price later. I had this discussion with a coworker before with him saying business is business but I refuse to take part in that crap. So the day after the Orbital record was offered for €30 while you could have bought it for €12.99 on RSD. At least I found out who did this at Discogs making sure I’d never ever buy something from them in the future. Eventually, I managed to get it for Β£10.99 even if I needed to pay more in shipping than I would have in the Netherlands.

Scalpers ruin the hobby for me at times. If it’s not in the BJD world, it is after RSD when you run into them. But I got it for a decent price after all.

RSD 2019
RSD 2019

Dylan Moran – Dr Cosmos

I’ve always wanted to see a show of Dylan Moran, ever since I’ve seen him in Black Books on TV. His form of wit and dark humour fits my own tastes. When I found out that he was performing in Amsterdam, I had to go.

I was able to get some decent seats in the middle and the show was fully sold out.

How can you describe a stand-up show by Dylan Moran? In my honest opinion Teun van der Sluijs summed it up perfectly.
Moran’s live stand-up comedy is unique in that it merges two strands of stand-up that seemed incompatible for a long time: sharp observational humor, and surreal and fantastical language-based absurdity. On the one hand, he has a clear influence from what could be called an American school of stand-up comedy that is heavily observational. On the other hand, Moran’s comedy is characterized by a use of language similar to the stand-up comedy of Eddie Izzard and Ross Noble: surreal associative leaps between on the one side observations and on the other fantasies, verbally painting bizarre and absurd worlds, often through a use of stream-of-consciousness narration. His language is often highly poetic, resembling a James Joyce that has had one too many.

He portrayed the difference in generation where nowadays they call for an Uber while we had to ask someone else’s older brother or sister for a ride. Our dating methods were different, we didn’t have the social media around to select our prospective partners. You’d only hope there was a decent fella in the pub/school or at work.

The way he described his youth and his antics in life had me bursting out in tears laughing. Ireland in the seventies was like Chernobyl with clergy or the haunted screams of a fellow flatmate that she was the only clean thing in the house.

The best expression I’ve learned from my time in Ireland is the one I often us to this day. Just to try and cope with the bizarre and unreal world we live in, after you’ve woken up finding out once again this is a dream. ‘Oh, for fucks sake’.

I had a terrific evening, even running in to my friend Anneke, and giving my boyfriend a view inside my head. Because if I’d ever drink coffee, it would be as dark as my soul.

Final Fantasy VII

I’ve purchase quite a few Nintendo Switch games lately, Final Fantasy VII being one of them. It’s not the remake, but a port from the original game released in 1997 for the PlayStation. It’s also the first game I bought together with my PlayStation console. Before that I had only owned Nintendo consoles.


I can’t recall exactly when I bought the game, but it must have been at the time I was working part time at a department store. PlayStations were even expensive back then so it must have been when I was 18ish. A year well after the release in 1997.
Having always been a Nintendo-girl I was interested in something else. PlayStation offered a whole new world of graphics and game play and I was told by the shop clerk this game would give me a lot of hours of fun. He was right, I was hooked with my first ever RPG.


Nintendo did have other versions of Final Fantasy on its consoles, but I’ve never managed to get my hands on one. Not until the remakes for future handheld consoles.

FFVII was the start with my obsession for RPG’s. Since that game I have tried many different types but always came back to the Final Fantasy series. I even ended up playing the online versions for many years. But I am a little ashamed to say, I’ve never finished FFVII. Hopefully on the Switch I will finally be able to reach the end of this game. If I don’t get distracted by other games ^^;;.


Outdoor doll photo session – Oisterwijk Fens

The best photos I make of my dolls is when I take them outdoors, often to nature reserves. I love taking photos of them, but I hate the stares I get when I am taking the photos. Luckily I am armed with my boyfriend these days, which makes me less aware of people staring at me.

I’ve visited this nature reserve in Oisterwijk quite often. I used to take my dogs there and spent many hours roaming the fens. In the early hours of the day it has very mysterious atmosphere, especially when there is fog. But today the sun was out, and so were the pollen. I love being outside, but my hay fever often kicks my ass the next day.


At one point a man thought I was taking photos of a mushroom, while I was posing Fuyumi. A very strange mushroom indeed ;P.


It’s still early in the season so the bug count was very low. During the hotter part of the year, the fens will be swarming with a lot of nasty that stings. After putting some colour on our cheeks, we treated ourselves with a big lunch. No photos were taken as I was famished and practically inhaled the food xD.

complementary action photo
complementary action photo

For my boyfriend it was his first time out to the Oisterwijk Fens and he really enjoyed it. I made him say it a couple of times, just to make sure πŸ˜‰ We will certainly be back, maybe take his dogs with us next time.

Oisterwijk Fens
Oisterwijk Fens

Doll and Bear Show – spring edition

The Big Event Doll and Bear Show is one of the conventions I look forward to each year. Normally set in the fall, the organisation decided to also hold one in the spring.
One of the first conventions I went to was held in Rotterdam but they moved to a more central location in my hometown a few years ago. Often I go by myself, but sometimes friends accompany me.

You can find anything here when you are a doll or stuffed animal collector, even some very old antiques which cost a small fortune. I’m always happy to see if there is at least one BJD or Blythe related stand. This time there were four. I always wished I have a big bag of money for these conventions but with Record Store Day and Blythecon EU around the corner I had to keep to my budget.

BJD apparel
BJD apparel
Angels Designs
Angels Designs

I had been thinking to put my Barbie’s on display again, but I needed some nice clothing for the ladies instead of the default Mattel garb. Lucky for me ELENPRIV was also selling at this spring show. I forgot to take a photo of her stand, due to my excitement. But my girls have two amazing outfits. Well worth the price when you look a the quality of the fabric, design and skill.


And I couldn’t resist to buy another handmade bear. I wanted to take them all home, but that meant I had to rob a bank to do so.

Bear by Catootje en Co
Bear by Catootje en Co

Cheska was also spoiled a little with a new dress but I haven’t had the chance to take photos of her yet. Will do so soon.

All in all, a great Doll and Bear Show – Spring Edition for me. Bought some great outfits for my girls, a new handmade bear and had the chance to chat with some friends. Can’t wait for the Fall Edition.

Japan 2020

It seems silly that I am already planning what to see and do for my trip to Japan next year. 2020 seems so far away and I have no clue if I am visiting in the spring or fall. It won’t be during the summer because Japan is hosting the Summer Olympics. Besides that, I doubt I would like the humidity of Japan.

Last time I visited the country was some time ago, in 2006, so my visit is long overdue.

While discussing with my boyfriend what we want to see, I found out that I haven’t seen everything of Tokyo yet. I’m the only one of our group (my mother, sister, boyfriend and me) who has been to Tokyo before, but I am excited that I am going to see a lot of new stuff too like Tokyo Dome and other temples besides Senso-ji.

The challenging thing about planning a trip is that you have to find something to see and do for each of the group. My boyfriend wants to see kendo training and I know for sure my sister wants to go to the Pokemon centre. Eorzea Cafe is on my list, just need to figure out what my mother wants to see. I think one of the many beautiful gardens will suffice.

But I think we will be fine with whatever we do. I just want everyone to have a good time. And also try out many different ramen shops. XD

Japan guide
Japan guide

Fuyumi’s new kimono

My two Azone girls don’t have a big pile of clothes like my Blythes or BJD’s. So I’ve started to fix that problem by ordering them some clothes and shoes. The biggest problem I have with these girls is getting nice shoes for them, they have tiny feet.

I remember ordering once from Hobby Search long time ago. Normally I go to AmiAmi, but Hobby Search has everything that is released by Azone International, the manufacturer of Pure Neemo dolls. Which means I finally have more shoes for the girls instead of one pair each.

Sadly, the yukata with sandals went out of stock which means that Reiko is still missing her shoes for her Miko outfit. Next time I will get them.

Shipping is always super fast with EMS, down part is the ransom money I need to pay to the post office. I don’t mind paying for the VAT, the amount of administration costs pisses me off.

Slip-on Shoes
Slip-on Shoes
Cute Boots
Cute Boots

The quality of the kimono and shoes are fantastic! Worth every penny. Shoes this small which look so adorable are hard to come by. I’m happy I’ve placed the order so I can keep dressing my girls up in cute outfits.


All I wish now is for the weather to clear, so I can take some outdoor photos with my girls. A shrine photo would be fantastic, but these are hard to find here in the Netherlands.

Soundboy Rock – Groove Armada

I saw this album pop up on Velvet and was intrigued by the cover art. I love that it was designed by eBoy. But was the music going to be good?

I got to know Groove Armada back in the day when they released ‘My Friend’, which came out in 2001. It was quite a funky sound, but so were a lot of songs at that point in time. I was more into buying radio albums which had dozens of popular songs on them, instead of studio albums by a single artist or group.

But you know what they say, you can’t judge a record by it’s cover. YouTube and Spotify to the rescue for a deeper dive into the songs.

Groove Armada haven’t lost the funk in their music. To my surprise they collaborated with Candi Staton, one of my favourite singers. ‘You Got The Love’ is famous (mostly due to The Source’s remix). When I listen to this album it feels like running in to an old friend. The sound is familiar but you still you find refreshing elements.

All in all I am glad I bought this.

Soundboy Rock - Groove Armada
Soundboy Rock – Groove Armada